Saturday, June 11, 2011

Advice to a Wayward Congressman

After admitting that he sent inappropriate messages to multiple women, Representative Anthony Weiner of New York has announced that he will be entering a treatment facility:
Congressman Weiner departed this morning to seek professional treatment to focus on becoming a better husband and healthier person....
So, following the new way to get out of something, Congressman Weiner will be entering rehab for a few weeks of 'counseling' so he can wait for the next scandal du jure to come out.

In order to save both time and money, I offer the following advice to help this gentleman become 'a better husband and healthier person':

  1. Do not show your schwanz to any woman you are not in a romantic relationship with already, or who is not your health care provider. 
  2. If you are caught showing your schwanz to a woman that isn't your significant other or health care provider, don't lie or attack those who question the appropriateness of your behavior.
  3. When you really poke the pooch, don't act like you've got some mental health issue and hide in a treatment facility until the heat is off.  Man up, take your lumps, apologize profusely, and just stop showing women your schwanz.
  4. Don't put any picture on-line that you wouldn't want your grandmother and kindergarten teacher to see and know it was you.

If the good congressman will just follow these three easy steps, his life will improve.  Of course, I think it's good advice for any man.

5 comments:

Old NFO said...

Ah, but he's using the "Kennedy" tactic... get 'treatment' wait until the next news cycle, and keep on pumping, er... humping...

Professor P. said...

Anatomy lesson: your brains are between your ears, not your legs.

Julie said...

ah but the internet would be such a boring place if everyone followed those rules - or are there different rules for women?

DaddyBear said...

Julie, I think I'll make an exception, for both sexes, for artistic, published work. We all know that the Internet would grind to a halt without pictures of naked women.

Julie said...

:)

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