Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Thoughts on the Day

  • Calling me, having a tizzy with your hair on fire, and demanding that I DOOOOO SSOOOOMMMEEEETTHHHIINNNGGG!!!!!! is not going to get me excited about your "issue".  
  • Neither is demanding that I and 6 of my closest co-workers congregate in a meeting room to listen to you hyperventilate on the phone for 6 hours. 
  • If the grocery store has aisles that are just barely wide enough for two carts to pass one another going opposite directions, it is rude and dangerous to park your cart on one side of the aisle, walk over to the other side of the aisle, and spend 15 minutes studying the peanut butter.
  • If you drive your hipsterish moped up the right side of the road and pass a car trying to turn right, don't be surprised if I laugh very very hard at the look on your face when you realize that you don't have metal cage around you to compensate for your stupidity.
  • The proper etiquette for an emergency vehicle is to pull over to the right and stop, not try to park your Volvo in my back seat.
  • Telling your youngest "Play stupid games, win stupid prizes" may cause an attitude shift with your spouse
  • And finally, nothing makes a bad day better than coming home to a meal of comfort food and a 3 year old who's happy to see you.

4 comments:

North said...

"it is rude and dangerous to park your cart on one side of the aisle, walk over to the other side of the aisle, and spend 15 minutes studying the peanut butter."

F you, lady. F you f you f you. I hope the 200 pounds of lard you've stored in your ass bursts into flames and burns up the ugly clothing barely covering your bloated white flesh...

...is what I say in my head at least a dozen times when shopping. On good days.

Nancy R. said...

"Play stupid games, win stupid prizes". Yes, it's time to add that to Sweet Daughter's repertoire.

DaddyBear said...

North, on several occasions yesterday at Kroger, I was ready to participate in the public shaming of a human being.

Nancy, careful, she might just point and laugh at you!

Old NFO said...

Agree with ALL those :-)

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