Gun Control Idea Fail

The city of Lowell is asking the Massachusetts legislature to allow them to tighten their local gun laws.  Because a couple of goblins broke into a gunowner's house and stole several firearms from his vault, they want to add even more 'security' to the already heavy burden  Bay State gunnies must bear in order to exercise their rights.

The proposed law would also require owners of more than 10 firearms to secure them in a locked safe or vault and install an alarm system with central monitoring that would notify police when the alarm is activated

So, in addition to all of the licensing fees and taxes that are already on their tab, law abiding citizens are going to have to shell out for a more expensive vault than what they are already required to have, and will have to contract with an alarm company to install and monitor their home.  One of the city fathers in Lowell must own an ADT franchise.  Or maybe he owns stock in a safe company.

Since we're talking about making people jump through hoops to exercise their rights, let's get down to it and start restricting freedom of speech and the press:

• All keyboards, electronic or mechanical, must be have a unique serial number
• You must have a license to manufacture or sell keyboards for a living
• Keyboard enthusiasts must undergo at least 16 hours of training, a background check, fingerprinting, and be issued a keyboardist license prior to purchasing their first keyboard
• All keyboard purchases must be done from a licensed dealer, and each purchase will require a criminal records check
• Separate licenses will be issued for full size keyboards, which have recreational uses, and miniature "laptop" keyboards, which are more destructive and easily hidden
• Keyboard licenses will be issued at the discretion of local authorities
• License requests must be accompanied by a description of how you wish to use the keyboard, and your justification for being allowed to type.
• Keyboard licenses can be revoked by local authorities any time they feel that the keyboardist no longer is of good enough character to be trusted with the written word
• When not in use, all keyboards must be kept in a locked vault
• When in use, the keyboard must be within arms reach of a keyboard license holder, and must be chained to the device it is being used with
• Keyboards that are very quiet or can be used to type very quickly will require an additional license and will cost an extra $200 a year fee to own and use.

People who read and write will just have to learn to live with these reasonable, common sense "Word Control" laws.  Do it for the children! These are a good start towards total elimination of non-governmental use of words.  The only ones who should be using words are government representatives who have been trained to use words responsibly. 

Remember, when books are outlawed, only Ray Bradbury will have books.

H/T to Montieth for the initial link.