Friday, May 20, 2011

Shoutouts

Only have a couple today, and they're a mixed bag.

To the inbred, bucktoothed, ratfaced, white trash pig eyed sack of moose crap that was driving the rusted out Chevy with the 10+ foot whip antenna affixed to the bumper:  When you braked hard at the yellow light because you can't judge time and distance, the antenna to your mobile command post came back and smacked my hood and windshield.  That's why I honked my horn.  I'm glad good sense came over you after you came flying out of your rustbucket and started walking back towards my car, because if you had taken a couple more steps, we might have had a problem.  I guess acting like Billy Badass doesn't work too well when the subject of your ire is about a foot taller, about 50 pounds heavier, and doesn't even blink when you come at him spewing expletives.  No offense dude, but I'm not impressed with your Napoleon complex.  I've been cussed at by professionals.  Thanks so much for getting back into your crate and burning rubber to show your manhood.  One thought - if you ever make that rude gesture to me again, your girlfriend's going to miss that finger when I bite it off. Another thought:  It's called an antenna tie-down.  Maybe you should look into them.

On a more happy note:  to the eight or ten balloon pilots that flew behind our house tonight, thank you.  You made a little boy's day.  I wish you happy winds, gentle updrafts, and easy landings.

2 comments:

bluesun said...

A town near my grandpa's farm used to have a hot air balloon festival, and he used to have them fly over, always hoping that one would land ('cause tradition says that when the balloon lands, whoever's property it is gets a bottle of wine). Finally one year he got 3 in the same day. Hot air balloons can make anyone's day.

DaddyBear said...

We live between two large parks with logs of wide open spaces, so we get balloons all the time when the weather is nice. It always drives the dogs nuts when one has to land in the field behind our yard.

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