Business Idea

While contemplating the dietary levels of caffeine necessary to work the graveyard shift when you normally work during the day, an idea occurred to me.  All coffee houses seem to have cute names for their different brews:  Columbian Dark Roast, Yemeni Breakfast, Detroit Gutter Brew, whatever.  Since my coffee doesn't normally allow much light to pass through it, it's been likened to motor or crude oil.  Why not capitalize on that and come out with my own DaddyBear branded coffee?


I could have a chain of coffee houses that look like oil change stations, manned by hairy ex-Marines with an attitude problem.  The offerings would include Vegemite sandwiches, bran muffins, and whatever recipe of the day I feel like baking.  Of course, I'd have to hire Juan Valdez and his trusty goat to go around the world and find the choicest coffee beans.  For a roastmaster, I'll hire someone who looks like an extra from Mad Max.

Our coffee offerings would be:

• West Texas Intermediate - A Light, Sweet Roast.  While the center of a glass pot of this brew is still dark enough that normal light will not flow through it, the very edges of  the pot will show a nice, warm dark brown glow.  A spoon placed in this coffee will fall to the side of the mug.  Good for drinking in the middle of the day where you need a touch of caffeine to keep an even keel, but don't want to be wired.  Can be served in any normal, ceramic coffee cup or mug.   The aroma will be rich, with notes of cactus and bluebonnets.
• Brent - Medium Roast - When held up to a light, this blend will allow no light to pass through it.  This would be good for mornings, when you need that little kick in the butt to get motivated for the day.  A spoon placed in the center of a cup of this coffee will stand on its own.  Should be served in a U.S. Navy issue porcelain mug, as Mid-Rats coffee is close in taste, thickness, and corrosiveness to this concoction.  The bouquet will include notes of lingenberries and scotch whiskey.
• DaddyBear's Special Roast - A roast as dark as overused motor oil - When held up to a light, a pot of this coffee will absorb not only the light behind it, but also from all sources of illumination near it.  This drink is meant to be consumed by IT specialists, medical students on an ER rotation, and the crews of space freighters who can't sleep because the grue might get them.  A spoon placed in a cup of this coffee will burst into flames, then dissolve.  Should be brewed and served in vessels made of borosilicate glass.  This coffee smells like a 1953 Cadillac diesel engine.

So what do y'all think?  I can start research as soon as I get some investors!