News Roundup

• From the "WTF" Department - A policeman in Florida who was accused of having sex in his squad car and using drugs to pay for it, along with pointing his gun at his squadmates when he found out he was being investigated, will probably be given a $27,000 per year pension when he turns 46.  Apparently, because he quit before he was fired and the local prosecutor declined to indict him, he can't be denied his retirement.  That's right campers, if you hire prostitutes, dabble in drugs, and threaten to shoot your fellow police officers, you're good to go so long as you quit early and don't get prosecuted.
•  From the "Purina Bear Chow" Department - 'Environmentalists' are protesting a black bear hunt in New Jersey. State wildlife officials hope to harvest 600 bears during the hunt, which will go a long way towards cutting down on the number of bears in the state and the frequency in which humans and bears bump into each other.  Protesters refute that assertion, maintaining that "A bear hunt doesn't solve nuisance complaints, a bear hunt doesn't protect property, a bear hunt doesn't protect public safety and the bear hunt will not reduce the population".  Since 200 bears have already been taken, I think the speaker is wrong on at least the last part of that little bit.  Another opponent to the hunt maintains that a mother bear once left her cubs with her, which to me means the mother bear was hunting over bait.  Hopefully these activists head out to the woods to try to train the bears to be afraid of being around people, or to teach them that humans don't taste that good.
• From the "Victim Selection Fail" Department - A would-be robber in Chicago is feeling his lumps today.  You see, he tried to carjack a mixed martial arts fighter, and ended up bruised and shot with his own gun.  But this can't be possible.  Everyone knows that criminals in Chicago don't have access to firearms.  As for the can of whoop-ass opened upon him, I'm hoping someone got video of it.  I'd love to see how he tapped out after he shot himself in the ankle.
• From the "Qel Surpris" Department - A movement that tries to get people to "Take Back the Capitol" has organized groups of people to go to members of Congress demanding answers to their issues.  Now, that's all well and good.  The right of peaceful assembly and demanding answers from elected officials is cherished.  But apparently the website for the movement links back to the SIEU, which seems to be supporting the protests.  So what could have been seen as a group of citizens seeking redress for grievances is at least partially as astro-turfed as Giants Stadium.