News Roundup

• From the "Wait, what?" Department - Saudi clerics claim that if the kingdom allows women to drive cars, then a surge in prostitution and homosexuality along with a dearth of virgins will happen.  You know, I'd really like to see the logic behind that assertion diagrammed out, because my brain is short circuiting out somewhere between the DMV and the Village People.
• From the "Cheeky" Department - A Florida woman has been arrested after dropping her pants and mooning her neighbor when she noticed him taking pictures of her dogs running around off a leash.  Apparently there is a long-running feud between the woman and her neighbor.  This is a friendly reminder that as the Christmas season progresses, please remember that the guy next door to you with the 30,000 Christmas lights isn't that bad a neighbor. 
• From the "Interesting Scar" Department - A duck hunter in Utah was shot in the buttocks recently when a hunting dog jumped on his shotgun.  For those playing at home, that wound is called the "Forrest Gump".  I wonder if the dog in question was named "Lieutenant Dan".
• From the "Government Efficiency" Department - A Swedish man, who has lost both legs to diabetes, was recently denied coverage for a powered wheelchair because authorities weren't sure that his disability was permanent.  For those of you who think that government run health care is a grand idea, this is your weekly dope-slap of reality.  If you thought the logic at the IRS was bad, just wait until your auditor gets promoted to the new health administration.