To the people who were shopping in the same store as my family this weekend:
I would like to offer my sincere and heartfelt apology for all of the evil and hateful things I thought while shopping yesterday. I am sure that very few of you are truly inbred, bucktoothed, anencephalic sons of syphilitic swineherds, and for those of you who are, I hope things turn around for you.
I would also like to apologize for the mean things I thought about you, your ancestors, your descendants, people who are related to you either by blood or marriage, and the doctors who helped to bring you into this world.
Sincerely,
DaddyBear
6 comments:
'Tis the season to be [bang]. Falalala[bang]lala la la. [bang, bang...THAT'S MY PARKING SPACE] Don we now our [bang] apparel [BOOM].
Those little voices talk to me in my head too. I hate shopping.
Okay, so THERE's the blessing in being sick for a month with pneumonia followed by a horrible, exhausting, hacking cough: online shopping.
Yeah, I don't even bother pretending to apologize anymore, I just grit my teeth and think about beer.
I have yet to face the hoades
.......Help........
Thing is, we were in a grocery store. This wasn't even the Christmas horde
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