Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Today's Earworm

No linked-to YouTube video today.

It's the beginning of deer season here in Kentucky.  Over the next few months, there will be hunting with bows, muzzleloaders, and modern rifles.  I'm starting to get the itch, and I need to get to the range to doublecheck zero on my guns.

So here's a little chest-beating to go with your morning.  Hopefully it doesn't jinx me into eating "deer tag soup" in February once the season closes.

"I Like Big Bucks!"

I like big bucks and I will not lie!
You other hunters can't deny!
When a buck walks by
With a great big rack
You get a chill right down your back!

To let him walk would be really tough
'Cause you wanna get that mother stuffed.
I'm ready and I'm aiming
Buck fever I'm also taming!

Oh deer, I wanna get with ya
And take a picture.
My buddies tried to warn me
But that rack is so big and oh so horny.
Oh doe with the smooth head
You wanna hang in my shed?
I'll make roasts, steaks, and jerky
'Cause venison's better than turkey.

I've seen them prancin'
And bucks thinkin' 'bout romancin'.
It's fall and it's rut!
We got deer sniffing each other's butt!
I'm tired of magazines
Sayin' venison ain't the thing.
Take the average redneck and he'll attest
that venison is the best.

So hunters! (Yeah) Hunters! (Yeah)
Does your wall have a great rack?
(Hell yeah!)
So take it down, show it off!
Big antlers for the win!
Bambi got rack!

Bambi. Got. Rack.
Bambi stew and terriyaki jerky!
Bambi. Got. Rack.

I like 'em pointy and big
And much thicker than a twig.
So I'm wearing doe scent and dressing in camo
And carrying my favorite ammo.

I wanna get you home
and (ugh) hang you up! (ugh ugh)!
I ain't talking 'bout Field and Stream.
Hunts like that are just a dream.
I want deer real big and juicy,
So I hunt juicy doe.
Little bucks I just let them go.
DaddyBear's comin' back for mo'!

So I'm lookin' at hunting videos.
Big racked bucks sniffing at does.
You can keep the button buck.
I'll put a big racked buck in my truck.

A word to the big old deer:
You'll never even know I'm here.
But I gotta be straight when I say I wanna hunt
At the break of dawn!
DaddyBear got his camo on!

I'm sure PETA won't like this song.
Vegans getting their whine on.
But I'd rather hunt than debate
So I'll stay in the woods til late.
'Cause if it's brown, it's down!
And I'm gonna turn 'em into ground round!

So hunters (Yeah!) Hunters! (Yeah)
You wanna shoot your front stuffer?
(Hell yeah!)
Then load it up! Ram it down!
Even PETA's got to shout
Bambi got rack!

Bambi. Got. Rack.

Yeah, man, when it comes to whitetails, Bass Pro ain't got nothin' on my gun store.
Making jerky out of my backstrap? Only if you take it out of my cold dead hands!

So you hunt deer with a Mosin?
Open sights is what you've chosen?
It don't matter none if you've got deer, son!
You can shoot Remington or Savage
But please don't use a Glock.

Some hunters want that hard role
And fill their tags using a bow
So they pull back and squeeze
And the deer goes to its knees

So I sat in the woods all day
And all that I can say
Is that the squirrels didn't notice me sitting there
And that at least I had a comfy chair.

To the guys who filled their tags,
And took the deer for a drag,
Let's drink a beer, and have some cheer!
Venison is always better than steer!

Some knuckleheads try to dis
'cause big fat does are on my list.
He had a shot but let it walk
Now I'm butchering while we talk.

So ladies, if the rack's real tall
and you want it mounted on your wall,
Call 1-900-DaddyBear
And we'll put it over the easy chair
Bambi got rack!

Got a lot of meat and a great big rack!
Bambi. Got. Rack.


Evyl Robot Michael said...

Wow. Just wow. If there was a video, would it involve deer in hotpants? Great rewrite, BTW!

MrG's said...

That was a good post and I was singing it to sir mix a lot.


Jay G said...

Weird Al DaddyBear?

DaddyBear said...

Evyl, no, I had visions of Ashley Jedd and Gretchen Wilson in hot pants.

MrG - Thanks!

Jay, I'm big enough of a geek to take that as a compliment.

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