Taxpayer

Emperor Obamadus stepped onto the sand of the coliseum.  His faithful guards of the Pressorian Guard parted to make way so that he could step into the ring they had formed around the taxpayers he wished to address.  He looked down his nose at them through the teleprompter that floated before his face.

"Rise, rise", he said to the taxpayers who had been brought almost to their knees for him.  The Taxpayers wearily rose to their full height, the dust of the coliseum running in lines of sweat down their weathered faces.  The Emperor turned to the tall one who still wore his helmet.

"Your fame is well deserved, Norwegian.  My wife insists that you are Ayers reborn.  Or was it Chomsky?  No matter.  Why doesn't the great hero of the people reveal himself and give us his name?" he said half interestedly, studying his nails as the words flowed across the teleprompter.

"My name is Taxpayer", said the Norwegian as he turned his back and started to walk towards the barracks.

"How dare you turn your back on me?", the Emperor whined.  "Slave!  You will remove your mask and tell me your name!"

The Norwegian slowly turned back towards the Emperor.  He took a deep breath, then reached up and slowly pulled his helmet off.  The Emperor took a step back upon seeing his face and the look of utter disdain upon it.

"I am DaddyBearus Scipio Americanus, Guardian of the Republic, veteran of campaigns in Germania and Dalmatia, and loyal servant to the true image of our nation Constitutionus Invictus.  Descendant of true immigrants who worked for a living, father to children who will toil their entire lives to pay for your excesses, husband to a disillusioned wife, and I will have my revenge, in this election or the next." the Norwegian hissed, looking the Emperor in his widening eyes.

The Emperor blanched as his teleprompter cracked.  He quickly turned around and moved to the exit as quickly as he could without breaking into a run.

DaddyBearus nodded to the Pressorian Guards and walked with his fellow Taxpayers back to their place of dwelling.  Now that the Emperor knew that he still lived, the job of throwing him out of office had become both easier and more interesting.

With apologies to Ridley Scott and Russell Crowe.