Overwhelming odds are that this will drop into a big wet blue thing or hit some unused dirt out in the back of someone's beyond. Of course, it would be entertaining if a big chunk of it landed in Central Park or on the lawn of the White House.
Here are some tips for the impending rain of space debris:
- Stay off of the Pacific and Atlantic oceans. Everyone is saying that's where it will probably land.
- Lightning sometimes strikes twice. If you're in Western Australia, look out.
- Make yourself a good protective garment for your head and stand upright to minimize your exposure and protect that which is exposed. Your headgear should be composed of:
Layer 1 - Tin foil - Self Explanatory
Layer 2 - Ball Cap - Comfort and shade for the eyes
Layer 3 - Kevlar - Self explanatory
Layer 4 - Black Duct Tape or a light fighter Cabbage Patch Hat - Break up your outline
- No matter how good a center fielder you were, do not attempt to catch bits of satellite as they fall. Wait for the first bounce.
- Same goes for you soccer players. No headers, unless you've done a really good job with your headgear.
- You will however gain unheard amounts of street cred of you're successful in shooting down satellite pieces as they fall with your skeet gun and get it on film.
- Satellite pieces may be dangerous, so let them cool completely before gathering them up and reselling them to the local scrap yard.
- If any of the pieces glow, use them to make designer jewelry. ThinkGeek would jump on that in a New York minute.
- If after handling pieces of the satellite you are detained by the government, assume that it's an Andromeda Strain kind of situation and you are doomed.
1 comment:
LOL- Don't know what you're drinking, but I want some!
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