A Public Announcement

I just returned from the store with Boo, and I have something to say:

The following people are cordially invited to join the line to bite me, which forms to the right:

• The young couple who were making out in the greeting cards section.  Dude, you don't need to get to second base next to the birthday cards.  
• The lady in the "Freddie Says Relax" tee shirt who chided me for correcting Boo when he smacked me next to the ice cream.
• The family who took 40 items to the "20 Items Or Less" aisle, used coupons, and then started yelling at the cashier in a language not normally used on this continent when she told them that half of the coupons were expired.
• The older lady who also brought 40 items to the "20 Items Or Less" aisle, but who used a check to pay and then took the time to balance her checkbook right then and there.
• The store manager who gave the cashier a dirty look when she started flirting with Boo at the checkout in order to keep him happy.  Remember, when the toddler's happy, he's quiet.
• The hipster douchebag who talked loudly about how children should be seen and not heard when I was playing with Boo and tickling him in line in order to keep him from getting bored and screeching. See above comment about toddler happiness.
• The man my age who told his children that he wasn't going to waste money on books while he was in line to get cigarettes.
• The guy in the Mercedes station wagon who honked his horn and flipped me off because I had the audacity to be in the crosswalk back to the parking lot when he turned the corner and wanted to cruise past the front of the store.

Now I remember why I buy so much stuff on-line.