News Roundup

• From the "Bread and Circuses" Department - The White House has announced that it will allow people to post and sign on-line petitions asking for the federal government to do something.  My guess is that the petitions will fall into two broad categories:  "Bush Sucks" and "I think we ought not to have so much horse s... in the streets".  Either that or Katie Perry will be the next ambassador to Great Britain.  Don't we already elect senators and representatives to do this?
• From the "Taking It to a New Level" Department - A man in Washington DC has been charged with assault after a road rage incident which involved ramming his car into another, beating on the car with his hands and feet, and then throwing live downed power lines at the car in an effort to harm the driver.  I've been mad, but I've never been "Pick up live power lines and try to turn another motorist into a baked potato" mad.  Luckily this didn't turn into one of Weerd's Gun Deaths.
• From the "Carrots and Potatoes" Department - A lamb was born at New York's Central Park Zoo just prior to Hurricane Irene striking the city.  Zoo staff have named the animal Irene Hope.  I would have gone for "Mint Jelly", "Emergency Rations",  or maybe "Unneeded Distraction".
• From the "Left Turn Signal" Department - MarketWatch has compiled a list of the top 10 cities in the United States for good drivers.  I've driven in several of these cities, and my question is "Why do I always seem to get behind the exception that proves the rule?".