Here's my list:
- There is no magic underwear fairy at college. The dirty clothes will not magically appear in your drawers overnight, clean and folded. Learn how to use a laundry.
- The laundry is not in your mom's basement.
- The following people are not your friends:
- The guy who doesn't check ID's too closely at the liquor store
- The guy who deals on campus
- The girl who asks you to do her homework for her in exchange for the privilege of taking her out to dinner
- The guy who asks you for a date to attend the party at his frat house just to introduce you to all of the guys
- The professor or TA who really really seems to like you
- The guys handing out free tee shirts in exchange for a credit card application
- The guy who sold you that Xbox after you got your student loan check
- It is amazing how many meals can be made using nothing more than a microwave oven and a coffee maker
- When there are mushrooms growing in the shower, it's time to break out those cleaning supplies your parents sent with you last semester
- When you start to smell so bad you offend yourself, time to break out that soap and shampoo that they also packed
- Captain Condom says: Wrap that rascal!
- You may hate rice, ramen, tuna fish, and bologna, but you will be amazed how quickly you can get over that when you're hungry
- If the only thing you can honestly say you learned last semester was how to do a beer bong or roll a joint, you're doing it wrong
- Your professor may truly care about whether or not you get a good education, but she's going to get paid whether or not you show up to her 9 AM class. You're paying for it, you might as well go.
- Very few people are going to pay you for a degree that boils down to four years of BS'ing with the professor and navel gazing. Remember, there are millions of starving artists, musicians, and poets in the world, but a plumber rarely goes hungry.
- The world needs ditch diggers too.
Any additions?
1 comment:
If your're going to an engineering school and have to take remedial basic math classes, just drop out now and save yourself the trouble.
Post a Comment