Sunday, July 24, 2011

News Roundup

  • From the "Bad To Worse" Department - A man in Florida strapped a fake bomb to the underside of his car and headed off to get an oil change.  A technician at the garage noticed his package and alerted authorities.  Apparently the man was going through a bad divorce, so one could see this as either an attempt at "suicide by cop" or a cry for help.  I see this as someone who wants to spend more quality time with his lawyer.
  • From the "Get A Rope" Department - Police in Wisconsin are advising citizens to keep an eye on their air conditioners after a string of robberies.  My guess is thieves are stealing them to resell the copper in the coils.  In the summer, this should be a hanging offense.  I'm a winter guy myself.  I can always add another layer of wool or poly-pro when you're cold.  You can only get so naked when you're hot before the neighbors start to talk.  For those of you who will have that image in your head as you try to go to sleep tonight, I'm sorry.
  • From the "But It Is Terminal" Department - A lawyer in Florida has coined the phrase of the day:  "He's guilty of felony stupidity...but I don't think that should be a federal crime".  His client is charged with getting drunk on a cruise ship, breaking into a control room, and releasing one of the ship's anchors.  Personally, I believe this could have been fixed with a little something they used to call 'keelhauling', but that's just me.
  • From the "How Can They Tell The Difference" Department - A transit strike in Italy caused snarled train, bus, and ferry traffic in the land of good wine and better food.  Having driven in Naples, I cannot imagine how it could have been worse than normal.  The streets in Naples were just big enough for two small Fiat micromachines to pass each other, and the Italians routinely try to fit five in the same space.  That being said, it's good that you can't swing a cat in Italy without hitting a church, because I regularly had something to confess about the thoughts I had towards other drivers and the language I used in reference to their skill and breeding.  Of course, I could also ask the priest to pray for me as I tried to make it across town.


Sean D Sorrentino said...

DB, What most people don't know about dropping the anchor is that if you drop it suddenly in water too deep for the anchor to hit bottom before it runs out of chain, it can rip a section off the ship. And if you drop it in water shallow enough, it can snatch the ship around when it hits the end of the chain and rip a section off the ship. Not to mention, if the ship sails into the chain as the anchor is dropping, it can cut a hole in the hull.

He isn't guilty of felony stupidity, he's guilty of hazarding the ship. He could have killed a lot of people.

Secondly, you are right about Naples. Of course, there's no sane reason to go to Naples, so it's really your own fault for going. ;)

DaddyBear said...

No argument here on the anchor, Sean. This moron deserves what he gets, I just thought his attorney's strategy was noteworthy.

As for Naples, when the guys with the eagles and stars on their collars say "go", you go.

Sean D Sorrentino said...

Yeah, that's the only reason I ever went to Naples too. NEVER AGAIN! It hasn't been called the City of Thieves since the Middle Ages for nothing.

My Italian relatives (in Calabria) were concerned that I had to go back to Naples to get back on my ship. They told me to be careful because the city was filled with thieves and other criminals.

If the cab drivers aren't trying to rip you off, they are trying to scare you to death.

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