News Roundup

• From the "That Explains A Lot" Department - Fran Drescher, an actress who has 'entertained' us for almost 20 years and whose voice has been shown to cause seizures in primates, claims that she was abducted by aliens when she was a teenager.  She also claims that her ex-husband was abducted early in his life, and that explains why they sought each other out.  Actually, I'm inclined to believe her story.  There is no way that her voice and laugh come from anything but advanced alien programs to drive us to shove screwdrivers in our ears until they come out sticky.  Also, you'd have to be under the influence of an alien mind probe to want to be around her for 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.  Here's hoping the little green men come back to see how their "catch and release" subject has been doing and take her back to their planet for further study.
• From the "Make a Bigger One" Department - The Air Force is working with weapons designers and manufacturers to improve its latest model of bunker buster bombs.  Reports are that even though it's one heck of a good penetrator and bomb, it would have issues destroying Iran's most deeply buried facilities.  My guess is that the Pentagon wants a "one shot, one kill" solution for each facility it would hit in the event of war.  My solution is a little simpler than making a better penetrator.  First, you use the best penetrator you have.  Then you use another, and another, and another.  Then, you make the surface around the target uninhabitable for a few decades.  It's called "over servicing the target".  Someone in what used to be Strategic Air Command might be able to dig up old war plans that the current leadership in Washington could use as a template.  If we care enough to bomb the bejeezus out of someone buried in a hole, we ought to at least do it in a way we know will work.  Maybe you can't get the guys at the bottom of the hole, but you can for sure make it so they can't come out of it before they run out of air and food.
• From the "Loose Lips Sink Ships" Department - Secretary of Defense Penetta is publicly wringing his hands about the fate of a Pakistani doctor who is accused of aiding the CIA in pinpointing the location of Osama bin Laden so that Navy SEALs could pay him a courtesy call.  Apparently Pakistan is trying the good doctor for treason, which will probably end up with him taking a short drop with a sudden stop.  That's strange.   Penetta, Obama, Biden, Clinton, Pelosi, and the rest of the usual gang of idiots weren't worried about the fate of our servicemembers, intelligence agents, and information sources in the days after bin Laden was introduced to the business end of American ordnance.  Now that there's no publicity to be gained by not only admitting that we did it and giving a blow by blow "No kidding, there I was" timeline and script for the raid, but also possibly giving Hollywood a quick look at the action shots of the raid and how it was planned, everyone's worried about what might happen to someone who may or may not have helped us.  How about Penetta hangs whoever told the press about the fact that the good doctor was at all involved up by their thumbs, and then I'll believe that he's serious in his worry. Until then, I'm a little cynical about it.
• From the "Some Animals Are More Equal" Department - A state legislator in Colorado is coming under fire for reportedly being let off the hook for a DUI because she mentioned to police at the scene that she was in the legislature.  Colorado law prevents the arrest of legislators travelling to and from state business, probably so that members of the loyal opposition aren't thrown in jail to keep them away from their jobs.  She is claiming that she did not get let go with a traffic ticket and a cab ride home because she's a state Senator.  If that is how Colorado handles all DUI's, I'll buy that.  If not, then she's got some 'splaining to do and there's a law in Colorado that needs amending.