News Roundup

• From the "Spelling Under the Influence" Department - In a recent interview, Pat Sajak admitted that he and Vanna White used to drink, sometimes to excess, during dinner breaks while taping episodes of their game show "Wheel of Fortune".  That's fair.  Usually I have to be drunk to watch the show, so who am I to judge if they thought they needed to be drunk to make it.  But usually when I'm drinking and things start spinning, it's not a good thing.
•  From the "Victim Selection Process Failure" Department - A teenager in Florida is in jail for burglary after he broke into the home of a police officer.  Around here, a lot of officers bring their cruisers home, and if that's also true in this case, then Mr. Einstein here had all the warning he needed.  The report says that the officer restrained the suspect, so I guess he's lucky he's not listed as a victim of gun violence.
• From the "Spotting a Trend" Department - Following the example of American gun manufacturers, LEGO has begun marketing its block sets to girls.  The toy giant will include sets with pastel colored blocks and kits that make beauty parlors.  I take the same stance on pink LEGO's as I do on pink guns:  If that's what it takes for you to buy and enjoy a product, have at it.  But almost every woman I know shoots evil black guns just as well as they do the pink ones, and the girls I know who play with LEGO's tend to make the same thing as their male counterparts:  houses and guns.
• From the "Surprise, Surprise, Surprise" Department - Officials at the United Nations called the police recently when a fake diplomatic pouch containing two bags of cocaine were found.  Of course, the U.N. is disavowing any knowledge of the Peruvian marching powder.  I mean, it's not like the U.N. would have a narcotics trafficker mixed in amongst the dictators, potentates, spies, and sycophants.  But hey, if the U.N. snorted a bit of the devil's dancing dust every once in a while, they might get something constructive done.