News Roundup

• From the "Good Start" Department - President Obama is asking Congress for the authority to streamline the executive branch a bit, cut a couple thousand jobs, and thereby save about $3 billion over the next decade.  Again, the president is finally doing something I can support, which is surprising. Basically, he's shuffling a few pieces of the government around, eliminating .1 percent of the federal workforce, and is looking to save about .02 percent of the current federal debt.  I give him credit for trying, but there's a lot more to do before our future goes from "boned" to "rosy".
• From the "Not Good Enough" Department - The TSA has announced that they will begin testing security agents at several airports for ill effects that could be related to full body scanners.  No plans to actually test the scanners themselves, just the agents who run them.  Because, you know, it's better to see if anyone has frank symptoms as opposed to checking to see if the equipment itself is faulty.
• From the "Good for Him" Department - The prime minister of Canada has reminded anti-oil activists in the United States that Canada is still a sovereign nation, distinct from the whining crowds of Washington, Berkeley, and Boston.  Something I've heard a few lonely voices say on this whole Canadian oil kerfluffle that hasn't been picked up by the mass media is that Canada is going to harvest this oil and sell it to somebody.  It might be us, or it might be China, but they're going to sell it. No amount of whining on our part is going to stop them if we decide we just can't stand to buy oil from a stable democracy that borders us.
• From the "I'm Lovin' It!" Department - A woman in California was arrested on suspicion of prostitution after patrons at a Burbank McDonalds reported she was walking down the line at the drive through asking people to buy her Chicken McNuggets in exchange for sexual favors.  I only have this one comment:  It's "What would you do for a Klondike Bar?" not "Who would you do for Chicken McNuggets?".
• From the "Really?" Department - A 99 cent store in New York has been fined $30,000 for stocking and selling toy cowboy guns that officials assert that are too realistic looking.  Of course, every gangbanger on earth carries around cheap, shiny plastic replicas of single action revolvers with orange tips on the barrels.  Apparently, they're doing it for the children.
• From the "That was quick" Department - Iraqi officials have begun to harass foreign contractors over visas and other paperwork that has "expired".  Basically, the contractors the U.S. left behind to do the work that soldiers would be doing if an acceptable Status of Forces Agreement had been reached are being treated in pretty much the same way our soldiers would have been if they had stayed behind without one.  My suggestion: Close the embassy, move it to the Kurd area where they like us, demand our people be compensated in gold for their trouble, and tell the rest of Iraq to go piss up a rope.
• From the "Really Golden Oldie" Department - The tomb of a singer has been found in Egypt's Valley of the Kings.  Amazingly, it appears that the tomb is intact after almost 3000 years.  This will allow archaeologists to investigate the tomb to learn more about life in the ancient kingdom.  Currently they are translating hieroglyphics for songs such as "Pharaoh Don't Preach", "Who Let Canubis Out?", and "Pharaoh of Pain".