News Roundup

• From the "Again?" Department - A man has been arrested in Texas for disrupting a Southwest Airlines flight.  Initial reports were that he tried to break into the cockpit, but the airline and law enforcement assert he only became beligerent, caused a ruckus in a lavatory, and confronted flight crew when they tried to calm him down.  Again, my question is why is this guy not in a full body cast?  Guys, starting a fight on an airplane should be an ugly way to commit suicide, not a way to get on the 11 o'clock news as you're escorted off the jetway.
• From the "So What Else is New?" Department - Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid has accused the Republican minority in the Senate of paralyzing the political process.  He says he can't work with the Republicans because they have a stated goal of removing President Obama in the next election.  I can't remember how the process worked in 2003, but I find it hard to believe that Mr. Reid had a problem with the way things worked when his party had a stated goal of unseating President Bush.  Of course, I'm pretty sure these tactics have been taught in political science classes since the Gracchi brothers learned the hard way that rich slobs can make politics very personal.
• From the "Oh My!" Department - A rural Ohio community is on lock down after a local exotic animal preserve owner was found dead with the cages and gates to the facility open. Lions, tigers, bears, and other dangerous predators are feared to be roaming the area.  Local law enforcement and representatives of the Columbus Zoo are trying to either capture or kill the animals before someone gets hurt.  The Tin Man and Scarecrow could not be reached for comment.  Allan Quatermain has been asked to advise on proper ways to bring the lions to heel..
• From the "Nothing to See Here" Department - Five men, reported to be of French-Moroccan descent, have been arrested in Texas after breaking into a courthouse.  Fox News reports that they had travel documents and other things with them that suggests they had visited several other sites in the United States.  I'm sure this is just a silly misunderstanding.  All French-Moroccan tourists want a guided tour of the courthouse in San Antonio.  At 2 AM.  On a Wednesday.  After scoping out other sensitive sites in several other states.  Move along citizen.  Your favorite reality show or variety show is on in a few minutes.