Glorious People's Gathering Shuts Down Capitalist Port

TASS has been authorized to report that the glorious People's Protesting Collective (West Coast, Bay Area) has been successful in stopping the day to day operation of  capitalist activity at the Port of Oakland in the worker's paradise of Northern California.  Many petit bourgeois operators of freight hauling trucks were either kept from leaving the port with cargo or entering it in the first place.  Cries that they were only small businessmen themselves went unheeded as our brothers and sisters in socialism exthorted them to burn their trucks and take their place on a barricade.  Local officials of the running-dog city government have continued their wise cooperation with the will of the proletariat, even to the point of allowing a large banner extolling the wonders of a people's revolution to be hung from the walls of City Hall.

Loyal allies in the labor movement have taken to the airwaves provided by the People's Propaganda and Information Bureaus, expressing their support for the brave revolutionaries:

The members "are supporting the concerns raised by Occupy Oakland and the Occupy movement to speak up for the 99 percent and against the corporate greed that is wrecking America."

Protests are sweeping across America in sympathy with the brave revolutionaries of the Bay Area.  In New York, protesters took time out from their valuable drumming activities to smoke a bowl in solidarity with their West Coast brethren.  Michael Moore, glorious veteran of the hearts and minds campaign, has announced the he will be fasting for three consecutive minutes this weekend in protest of the reactionary response of the Oakland police department in breaking up a peaceful bonfire in the public square.

In unrelated news, peaceful protesters peacefully broke windows at several banks and an upscale grocery store before peacefully spray-painting peaceful slogans calling for the peaceful death of capitalists while peacefully gathering trash receptacles to create the peaceful bonfire mentioned earlier in this report.

Tonight, as we listen to the Internationale and read our nightly passage from Marx, let us all keep our heroes of the Occupy movement in our thoughts as they fight against those who want to make and keep the filthy lucre that they 'earned' by choosing a paying occupation, working hard, and investing wisely.