Wednesday, March 21, 2012

News Roundup

  • From the "An Apology" Department - The government of Pakistan has demanded an unconditional apology from the United States before they will re-open the routes though their mountain paradise.  I'm game:  Dear Pakistan, I wholeheartedly apologize for the fact that my government did not provide more support to Great Britain in the late 1940's.  Had we done so, our British cousins might have been able to keep your third world craphole as a colony, and you all might have had adult leadership for the past 60 years or so, and then we wouldn't be having this little problem. Now release our supply convoys before we show you what happens when we intentionally drop ordnance on someone.
  • From the "Internship Opportunity" Department - The government of Wales has decided to cancel a badger cull to stem the spread of disease in favor of inoculating the little darlings.  Any guesses on the difference in cost between the two plans?  Also, what lucky son of a gun gets to convince Mr. Badger to trade a needle stick for a GI Joe bandaid and a sugar free lollipop?
  • From the "Bad Move" Department - A Texas woman is under arrest after stabbing a man during an argument.  Apparently, she decided she had cooked enough meals for him and started throwing things out into the yard during the ensuing argument.  The man then threatened to cut off her pony tail if she didn't stop, after which she cut the phone line and stabbed him in the hand.  Gentlemen, this guy made a lot of blunders here.  First of all, when she says she's tired of cooking, don't argue; put on an apron and get to work.  Second, when she starts throwing things into the yard, don't threaten to cut off her hair, go out and clean up the mess.  And last, when she grabs a knife and cuts the phone line, it's time to try for a new personal best in the "front door to car door" sprint.

7 comments:

Suz said...

Sorry, Daddy Bear, gotta disagree with those last two bits of advice. Help with the cooking? You bet. Clean up after a psycho-b*** temper tantrum? I don't think so. Run when she threatens you with a knife? Only if you can't disarm her and toss her sorry butt out onto the lawn.

Even a world class jerk shouldn't have to put up with crap like that. The broad needs an attitude adjustment.

DaddyBear said...

Suz, I have to disagree. I was being kind of tongue in cheek about cleaning up the mess, but a man will never win a physical confrontation with a woman he's romantically involved in. All it would take is one bruise for her to be able to scream abuse, and then he's going to have to prove that it was self defense. Things are better than they used to be, but a man is still assumed to be abusive if it's brought up in court. Best to get out while you still can.

Ms.Elaine-ious said...

another good response to "I've cooked enough" is "where would you like me to take you to dinner, Dear.?" But I have to agree, never threaten her hair.

Ms.Elaine-ious said...

another good response to "I've cooked enough" is "where would you like me to take you to dinner, Dear.?" But I have to agree, never threaten her hair.

Old NFO said...

I'd be picking my stuff up LONG before that, loading the truck, and going on down the road...

Auntie J said...

DB, you do write a fine apology letter.

I have several in a similar vein that I'd like to write. Shan't say more here, but I'm sure you could guess.

Suz said...

I'd hope that the cut phone cord would be proof enough of self defense! ;)

Truthfully though, the time to get out was when she started throwing things. And on the same topic...

http://whatmenthinkofwomen.blogspot.com/2012/03/help-vote-vawa-out.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+blogspot%2FMrLpN+%28What+Men+Are+Saying+About+Women.%29

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