Sunday, April 29, 2012

Thoughts on the Weekend

  • Whoever came up with the idea of giving away samples of food at the grocery store on a Saturday morning ought to be drug out into the street, beaten with a frozen carp, and then left to die while tied tightly to a storm drain cover.
  • I never thought I'd be glad to see $3.65 a gallon for gas.
  • Apparently me wearing a gun to the grocery store and other errands is becoming normal to Irish Woman.  She asked if I was going to carry the revolver, the CZ, or the big gun (1911) yesterday.
  • My grandfathers are spinning in their graves.  I went out and paid good money for dirt this weekend.  Granted, it was compost, topsoil, peat moss, and potting soil for the garden, but it was dirt.
  • Pro-tip - Do not wear contact lenses while mixing up compost, topsoil, peat moss, and potting soil in a big garden bed, or you will have the sudden and immediate urge to scratch the back of your eyeballs out.
  • Lightning, thunder, and flickering lights might just be nature's way of telling you it's time to shut off the computer and go to bed.
  • Hint to history professors who do podcasts:  Do not try to do a podcast while eating your dinner.  Seriously, dude, I could hear you chewing as you looked at your notes and the clinking of silverware on crockery was a dead giveaway.
  • Bad thing #1 - The tub was draining very slowly and I couldn't find my drain snake after drain cleaner and a plunger didn't work.
  • Bad thing #2 - After acquiring a new snake to clean out said drain, I fished it down the drain about two feet and proceeded to get it well and truly stuck.
  • Bad thing #3 - While trying to remove said drain snake from said drain, the snake broke.  So I had a clogged drain and a sharp pointy piece of metal sticking out of it.
  • Bad thing #4 - Growling at Irish Woman as I came back up from the basement with a set of vise grips to get hold of that sharp piece of metal and by God drag it out of the drain.  I think I said something along the lines of "My hair isn't long enough to clog a !#!@ drain."
  • Good thing #1 - After dragging that piece of sharp metal out of the bathtub drain, I realized that there was an access port for that drain in the basement.  I got it off with no issues, drained off the resultant water into a bucket while only getting about 1/3 of it on me and my clothes, and found the clog.  It was quite intricate and gnarly.  I think I will call it Herman if it survives its first night out in the trash and gains sentience.  It may have a future in Kentucky politics.
  • Good thing #2 - I got the plumbing back together without causing Irish Woman to call a plumber, a first in our relationship.
  • Possibly bad thing # 5 - I informed Irish Woman and Girlie Bear that I expected both of them to report to me by 0800 tomorrow morning with regulation high and tights and that they were henceforth forbidden to use anything but baby shampoo to clean what was left of their hair.  I based this directive on the fact that I don't have hair as long as what I found in the drain, and that it was all held together with what can be best described as the remnants of too much feminine hair care product.
  • Possibly good thing #3 - Irish Woman didn't knife me in the kidney when I didn't laugh with her after directing her to stop using conditioner and to get a Marine haircut.
  • Is it ominous to you other married men when your wife comes to you and asks how many board feet of 2x4 you have in your work area?


Auntie J said...


I should not find your tub drain woes as hilarious as I do.

My husband has been known to growl like a Wookiee when pulling huge clumps of hair out of the tub drain.

jon spencer said...

Hair catchers work.
Usually under ten buck too.
When you were using the plunger, did you cover the overflow inlets with tape?
If you do not get a complete seal on the overflow, plunging is almost useless.

Ruth said...

Hair catchers only help, they do not solve the problem. My hair is longer than my shoulders, my husband has hair even longer. I know of what I speak. You should see the wad of hair we pulled out of the bathroom SINK drain this weekend.

Julie said...

well you can't say it was a boring weekend!

DaddyBear said...

Auntie J, I can only imagine. You have double the long haired population I have.

Jon and Ruth, thanks for the tip. I'll pick one up tomorrow.

And yes, Julie, I do live on the edge of madness, why do you ask?

Ruth said...

DB, there are a couple kinds, get one where the 'catcher' domes UP to catch the hair, there are some that dome down into the drain. The ones that dome down catch the hair alright, and then back up the water into the tub, resulting in either the need to clean the catcher halfway through the shower, or the person showering just kicking it aside cause its annoying....

On a Wing and a Whim said...

my father once eased himself out from under the sink, stretched his back with a groan, and looked down at my counter-top height blond head with foot-long hair. (It was probably a toy down the sink, not my hair that time.)

He said ruefully, "Your grandfather lived in a house with six long-haired women, and did the plumbing. He'd have gone to heaven if he murdered his wife with an axe."

Old NFO said...

LOL, is she planning a casket??? :-)

TinCan Assassin said...

Depends, did she also ask about the location of a bag of lime?

Drang said...

Hair-catcher and Bio-Clean.

Full disclosure: Our drain woes pretty much went away when I started shaving into a plastic basin and dumping the residue down the toilet, cleaned once a month w/Bio-Clean, procured from our plumber. Apparently, the manly Drang Family Beard, in combination with the cheapest shaving cream I can find, creates concrete not unlike what the Romans used for Via building...

Auntie J said...

On an only slightly-related (but still hilarious) subject, you should have seen the expression on Hubby's face when he discovered that my hair gets everywhere, and even laundering doesn't wash it out, so it winds up in some...interesting...places.

My father laughed without sympathy when Hubby told him, about six months into our marriage, that he'd pulled a long, dirty-blond hair out of his shorts.

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