News Roundup

• From the "Beef in Rice" Department - A group of men in New Mexico have been arrested after they were stopped for a traffic violation.  Officers found that in addition to three men, their Honda contained a Holstein calf, which the men did not own.  No explanation for the presence of the young cow was given, although a good explanation could be that the men were tired of giving away dyed chicks for Easter.  Of course, this was Deming, New Mexico, and if you've ever been to Deming, you'd understand why this might just be a normal Saturday night.  Ladies, I expect full credit for not going down the "heifer in the back seat" joke road.
•  From the "How Convenient" Department - An Islamic cleric, who has been branded a terrorist by the United States, drove onto the grounds of the United States embassy in Yemen. The nice sheik was trying to evade Yemeni agents who were trying to arrest him, so I guess we'll give Yemen an assist for this one.  In hunting, we call what they were doing "driving the quarry".  One thought though:  Either we knew who was coming and opened the gate for him, or someone in the embassy has a lot of explaining to do when someone on the terrorist list can get onto embassy grounds alive.
• From the "Your Tax Dollars At Work" Department - Several people, including the director of the Government Services Agency, are out of a job, with probably more to follow. The cause of their unemployment appears to be a conference for GSA employees held in Las Vegas in 2010.  News reports suggest that $835,000 was spent to put on a conference attended by 300 government employees, which comes to about $2800 per employee.  Highlights of the conference included a mind reader and a rather expensive set of custom made coins commemorating PorkFest 2010.  You know, you give me almost $3000 to go to Vegas for four days, and I'll do the mind reading part for you.  "I see from your mind that you are a wasteful dumbass and will be unemployed in a couple of years."
• From the "Sausage Factory" Department - Four people in Indiana have been indicted for forging registration petitions used during the 2008 Democrat Party primaries.  They are alleged to have forged signatures on petitions to get candidates Obama, Clinton, and Edwards on the ballot.  Shocked! Yes, shocked I am that there is skullduggery in partisan politics!  I'm just surprised that they didn't just turn in a photocopy of the list of people who've died in the last five years in the district.  Then again, it wasn't Illinois.
• From the "Friends in High Places" Department - Onyango Obama, uncle of President Barack Obama, has been given back his license to drive in order to get to work.  He was arrested in Massachusetts after his car almost got into an accident with a police car and he blew a .014 on a Breathalyzer.  He has also been given one year to keep his nose clean before the judge can dismiss all charges against him.  Reports are that he has entered into an alcohol treatment program, and is trying to keep his job managing a liquor store.  Wait a minute.... A guy, who just happens to be a blood relative of the president, gets one year to try and stay out of trouble after driving with almost twice the legal blood alcohol limit, is allowed to drive back and forth to work, is in an addiction program for alcohol, and is managing a liquor store.  Oh, and he might be in the country illegally.  Folks, if you'd written that for Hollywood, they'd have thrown you out of the office before you got through the script summary.  I've really got to get me some relatives in Washington, because apparently it's a get-out-of-jail-free card.  What does he have to do in order to actually be inconvenienced by the criminal justice system?