Tuesday, September 6, 2011

News Roundup

  • From the "No Kidding" Department - President Obama is polling well against prospective GOP frontrunners in California.  In other news, the sun rose today.  Really, when was the last time a Republican polled well in California?
  • From the "Your Lieing Eyes" Department - China is denying that a Chinese arms exporter was trying to sell arms to the Ghadaffi regime, including anti-aircraft missiles.  Even when shown captured documents showing details of the proposed deal, the Chinese government continues issuing denials.  Something tells me the Jedi Mind Trick isn't going to work this time. "You tried to sell arms to Ghadaffi so that he could shoot down our aircraft." "No, I didn't!" "But it says right here in black and white..." "Wasn't me!" "But your name and signature are on the documents." "Are not! These aren't the documents you're looking for!"
  • From the "Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs" Department - A man was stopped after he was seen walking on a highway in Indiana while carrying a sword.  He took a swing at police officers with his mighty blade, then tried to carjack a vehicle.  Wow, there's a lot going on there.  The department for this one is a direct quote of one of the things the man said to police.  I'm at a loss on a whitty comment to make about this.  This one pretty much stands on its own.
  • From the "Whole Lot of Croc" Department - A 2300 pound salt water crocodile was recently captured near a village in the Philippines.  The man who coordinated the capture of the reptile plans to make it an exhibit in an eco-tourism park, and also plans to try to capture an even bigger croc that he believes lives in the same area.  Something tells me that if a bigger croc is found, there's going to be a surplus of boots, suitcases, and etouffe in the Philippines.
  • From the "Happy Father's Day!" Department - A woman in Washington DC has discovered that the person who donated sperm she used to conceive her child has fathered at least 150 children through sperm donation.  Man, that's a lot of kids.  Experts say that the danger with one donor creating so many children is that it raises the chance of incest when the children become adults.  One has to wonder if the sperm bank in question gives him a punch card for a free sandwich after 10 visits or something.  Look for a lot of Maury Povich interviews with his kids in the next 20 years or so as they discover that the girl they dated in high school was really their sister.


RedeemedBoyd said...

Is it wrong that I hear a ticking when you speak of crocs that large?

DaddyBear said...

Never smile at a crocodile,
No you can't make buddies with a crocodile...

Creative Commons License
DaddyBear's Den by DaddyBear is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 United States License.
Based on a work at daddybearden.blogspot.com.