A Prayer

Dear Father,

Please forgive me for the evil thoughts and words I had for other drivers while going to and coming from work today.  I truly do not wish they would all find out their mothers were the cheapest prostitutes in Bangladesh, nor to I hope their cars all spontaneously catch fire after impacting a dirty hog hauler.

Forgive me for the harsh thoughts I had for the woman in the grocery store who was complaining to the checkout lady about how inconvenient it is to use government supplied healthcare.  I did not mean to upset her when I told her that if she didn't like Medicaid, she should consider getting a job or paying her own way, even though I meant every word.

Lord, please apologize for me to the ancient craftsman who first created the flute.  I truly did not mean it when I wished he would spend eternity scrubbing the hairy testicles of Satan after Boo found the example of his craft that Irish Woman stashed for him to find while she was gone.

Heavenly Father, please make me more patient, kind, and forgiving of my brothers and sisters, even especially when they all seem to be making a hobby out of pissing me off.

In your name I pray,

Amen