News Roundup

• From the "Bad Night" Department - A police officer, his K9 partner, and a suspect in a crime were run over when the car the suspect had been driving rolled forward.  At the time, the officer was struggling with the suspect and the suspect had forgotten to put it in park when he bolted from the car.  Something tells me that by the time he gets out of jail, he's going to wish the darn thing had run over his head.
• From the "That Explains It" Department - A British woman living in North Dakota has been diagnosed as being allergic to cold temperatures.  She reports that she and other members of her family have always had pain in their joints and other symptoms when the temperature drops.  Having lived in Grand Forks, I hope she has plans to spend the winter a bit further south. It gets so cold up there that you bring the brass monkey in for the night sometimes.  You know it's cold when International Falls is on the local forecast map every day.  Although I wish I'd known about this condition when I was living up there.  "Ma, I can't go out there and shovel the snow.  It's so cold that my joints will swell up and I won't be able to do anything for days but watch TV.".
• From the "You First" Department - A new technology developed in Texas promises to bring a future where humans don't drive their cars.  Instead, an on-board computer would communicate with a coordinator computer to mesh it with other cars on the road, especially at intersections.  Nothing can go wrong here.  I will never allow me or my kids to use such technology.  I work with computers and I trust them about as far as I can see them, and even then I watch them closely.    What are you going to do when you look up from your morning paper to discover that your computer chauffeur is choking on its own lungs and you're speeding towards an intersection chock full of nuns and old people?
• From the "Building Bridges" Department - Our long, local nightmare is finally over.  The I-64 bridge over the Ohio River re-opened Friday night.  It was closed last fall when workers found cracks in some of the supports.  What this has meant is that most of the traffic between Kentucky and Indiana has been going over two bridges instead of three.  Commutes that used to take 30 minutes have been averaging over two hours.   Now things should return to normal, at least until they start closing the other two bridges to repair all of the damage that the dramatic increase in traffic caused.