News Roundup

• From the "Maury Povich" Department - A magazine in France is adding evidence to a man's claim to being Adolf Hitler's illegitimate son.  According to the man, who died several years ago, Hitler had a bit of a fling with his mother in 1918, and he was born the next year.  The new evidence includes paintings signed by Hitler that were found in the home of the man's mother.  I know this sounds irrational, but knowing that that genetic pool is still around is a bit disturbing.
• From the "Organic Red Tape" Department - The Obama administration has unveiled plans for the government to start buying more "biobased" products.  Since they're going to be using more renewable, recyclable products, I'm guessing the paperless government revolution is over.
• From the "Goofy" Department - A man was recently arrested at Disney's California Adventure park after fighting with a security guard.  This man will forever be known as the guy who got his ass beat by a mickey mouse security guard.
• From the "Scrappy Nibbles" Department - 200 feral rabbits in Alberta have been captured, neutered or spayed, and released back into the wild.  A local animal rights group had complained about an earlier effort to euthanize the animals, who are descendants of pets that were released.  No word yet on the impact this will have on local families that need the meat.
• From the "58th State" Department - Vice President Biden's office recently issued a memo noting that the VP will be visiting "Road Island".  Apparently he be travelling there via Wooostah, Looahvul, and New Yolk.
• From the "Fashion Police" Department - A school district in Arizona has proposed a dress code for teachers that, among other things, restricts the wearing of jeans, sweatsuits, and showing cleavage.  After reading that article, am I the only one who has Van Halen running through his head?
• From the "Shrinkage" Department - 30 men and women recently participated in a nude luge event in Germany.  Although they were required to wear underwear, gloves, and a helmet, they were otherwise nude.  I'd like to make a pithy comment about this, but the mental images I'm getting are either really good or really bad, and they take away my capacity for rational thought.