Monday, August 29, 2011

News Roundup

  • From the "Mace is a Condiment"  Department - A study has shown that for people suffering from nasal inflammation the use of nasal sprays that include the active ingredient of hot peppers could bring relief.  I expect that police unions will come out against this.  Who wants to have a product on the market that Mookie can use to do the iocane powder routine against Officer Friendly's pepper spray?
  • From the "Jewelry for Cancer?" Department - A first grader in Texas has been suspended because he wears his hair long and is wearing a diamond earring in violation of his school's dress code.  His mother claims he's growing his hair out for Locks of Love, a charity that provides real hair to make hair pieces for cancer patients. I'd probably buy that and condemn the school if it weren't for the diamond earring.  Take the shiny tackle out of the boy's ear and we'll talk about feeling empathy for him.  Ask me sometime about my experience with dress codes, a diamond earring, and a small scar I have on my earlobe.  It's a riot if you like Clint Eastwood movies.
  • From the "This is my Shocked Face" Department - A former TSA agent has admitted in federal court that she used her position to assist a drug smuggler in evading airport security.  Shocked, yes shocked, I am that another TSA agent has been caught breaking the law.  Why, everyone knows that the government spent massive amounts of time and money to properly organize the TSA and does a thorough screening and monitoring job of its employees.  How could something like this happen again and again and again?
  • From the "Apples to Oranges" Department - Former Vice-President Al Gore recently made comments comparing the global warming debate to the American civil rights movement.  Yeah, because police in the American Southeast are using firehoses to keep Prius owners down.  Oh, and the federal government is sending the 101st Airborne Division to make sure that climate scientists aren't forced to publish their raw data.  Mr. Gore, do us all a favor: Go home, drink a bottle or two of wine, and spend the evening polishing your Nobel Peace Prize while cruising the Internet you claim to have invented.

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