Wednesday, February 15, 2012

News Roundup

  • From the "Airing It Out" Department - An 18 year old woman was arrested recently in Texas after taking police on a slow-speed chase wearing nothing but her cowboy boots.  You know, if 18 year old women driving around starkers is wrong, I don't want to be right. To me, that's as American as Mom, apple pie, and baseball. 
  • From the "Slow News Day" Department - Staff working for former President George H.W. Bush are reporting that he is making a habit of frequently wearing strange socks.  Apparently the issues in the Mid-East, the economy, and the latest escapades of reality TV have all been reported if the press can spend time reporting on the socks that an 87 year old man chooses to wear. 
  • From the "10 Feet Tall and Bulletproof" Department - A man in Russia is under arrest after stabbing a friend in the stomach with a kitchen knife.  At the time of the stabbing, the friend was under the mistaken belief that his abs were so hard a knife wouldn't penetrate.  I've said it before, and I'll say it again:  Vodka is a hell of a drug.  In their defense, how many of us men haven't been drinking with buddies and the "I'm so tough I can XYZ" conversation/argument starts up.  For me, that led to one armed pushups, parachute landing falls off of an old storm wall on Monterey beach, and rappelling off the side of a four story building using clothesline as rope and a padlock as a caribiner.  Yeah, I'm lucky I lived to see the age of 20.  Never thought to have someone stab me to prove my manhood.  Maybe that's what's wrong with me.
  • From the "Meta" Department - A man recently had a heart attack while eating at the Heart Attack Grill in Las Vegas.  This establishment is known for their artery clogging menu, so I guess it was just a matter of time before someone coded while dining there.  Let's face it, people who are in good shape aren't going to eat at that place very often.  Since I'm a disgusting widebody, it might be one of those places I try in the event I ever get to Nevada again.  I'll just be sure to take a lipitor, a lisinopril, and a couple of aspirin before heading over.
  • From the "Welcome to the Party" Department - A Pennsylvania man is being assisted by the ACLU in suing the Philadelphia police department for violating his rights under the 1st and 2nd Amendments.  Seems the man was legally open carrying in Philadelphia, and on three occasions was stopped and harassed by the police.  He recorded one of the incidents and posted the audio on the Internet.  Apparently the city fathers of Philadelphia didn't care for that, because they had him charged with two crimes and tried to arrest him at his place of employment.  Those charges were eventually dropped.  I wish the gentleman luck.  Usually when a city has to pay out a big hunk of money in lawsuits, they find a way to make sure that the thing that got them sued doesn't happen again.  Or at least they do something different that's just as heinous. Either way, I hope he succeeds, and I'm glad to see that the ACLU has decided that gun rights are just as important as the right to assemble or to speak.


TinCan Assassin said...

First story: In the useless without pics department...

DaddyBear said...

Her mug shot is in the linked article, but nothing more than that, darn the luck.

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