Sunday, January 18, 2009

ZOMG! We're all gonna die!

The peanut butter recall has gone down to the bone!

Little Debbies are being recalled. Other major suppliers of food that is tasty and bad for you are also recalling their products. This will cause artificial shortages in other snack cakes, and before you know it, it'll be pandemonium in the aisles at the local Quicky Mart! Truck drivers will be beating up housewives over Twinkies, and a black market in certified healthy peanut butter crackers will spring up across this great land of ours.

True Story:

When I first moved to Germany, it was right after the end of the first Gulf War. Most of the military shipping for the months prior to this had understandably been used for the war effort, so only those things that were absolutely necessary were brought over for the PX and Commissary for several months. Needless to say, shortages of such things as snack foods and American beer, wine and liquor rapidly set in.

About two weeks after I got to Bavaria, I went to our local commissary to pick up a few things. As I was in line to pay for my eggs, milk, bread, and some fruit, I noticed that a shipment of Hostess snack cakes had come in and was being put on the shelves. Everything went higglety-pigglety there for a while. I did not participate in the small riot that ensued, but it was entertaining to watch the military wives scramble over each other to get a box of Twinkies or something. Quoth the commisary queen: "Hey Bitch! Get your hands off of my Ho-Ho's!".

I'm hoping that this current situation doesn't come to that.

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