Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Update to Thought of the Day

If your doctor says that you shouldn't eat 12 hours before surgery, then don't eat or drink anything during the 12 hours preceding your scheduled surgery time.

If your child's doctor, even if said child is 14 years old, tells you not to let him eat for 12 hours prior to surgery, don't leave him alone with a box of donuts the morning of surgery.
While getting braces put on his teeth, Little Bear's dentist noticed that he had an impacted molar that was coming in sideways behind his other molars.  Basically, his jaw isn't big enough for all of his adult teeth.  A surgeon was consulted, who scheduled Little Bear for surgery to remove it.

Since he would be going under general anesthesia, we were advised that he could have no food or drink for 12 hours prior to his surgery appointment.

This morning, we all showed up at the hospital at 6:30 to get Little Bear registered and into the surgical ward.  Little Bear and his mother were driven by his grandmother, who we will call Medusa, because apparently having your ex-husband drive you and your son to the hospital makes too much sense.  But hey, why rob Medusa and me of a chance to sit across a room from one another and think hateful thoughts at each other?

Anyhoo, registration went quickly and we were escorted back to a small room where surgical prep began.  Little Bear changed into the normal gown, an IV was started, and we began the wait.  After the nurse, the anesthesiologist, the nurse anesthetist, surgeon, another nurse, another anesthesiologist, the janitor, the local representative of the forces of evil, his counterpart in the forces of good, two guys who were lost and looking for the shortest route to Las Vegas that didn't go through bat country, and the doctor again all came through the area, asking us questions and having us fill out paperwork, we found out that we would be delayed an hour or so due to an emergency surgery that had bumped us.

Mind you, each of these people asked us if he had had anything to eat or drink since last evening, and Little Bear and his mother avowed that he had indeed fasted the prerequisite 12 hours.

Medusa and I stayed in our neutral corners.  I chatted with Little Bear, read several articles from a magazine with him, and did some web surfing on my phone.  Medusa came and went as she needed to find coffee, somewhere to smoke, a restroom, another smoke, more coffee, and another trip to the restroom.  Maybe somewhere in there she went off to terrorize a village or something.  Personally, I was hoping that someone would drop a house on her, but I digress.

After a couple of hours of waiting, the nurse anesthesiologist came in and administered the pre-surgery medications, including a good healthy dose of Versed.  Within a minute or two, Little Bear was quite relaxed and happy.  I can now say I know what signs to look for if he should ever try narcotics.  After another half hour or so of waiting, the charge nurse came in and did final prep for surgery.  As she was unhooking Little Bear from all of the room monitors and getting his IV and such ready for transport to the operating room, she went though all of the initial questions one more time:

What's your name?
What are you here for today?
Do you have any allergies?
Have you had anything to eat or drink in the last 12 hours?

To the last question, Little Bear, still being stoned out of his gourd, replied "Nothing last night, but I had a piece of a donut this morning before we came to the hospital.".

Needless to say, the surgery is being rescheduled.  A patient under general anesthesia has to be competely empty because if he were to vomit, he might asperate, causing pneumonia or death.

To say that I was irritated with my ex is an understatement.  Yes, he's 14, and he should know better, but why even have donuts on the kitchen table when your son can't eat?

Once Little Bear sobers up, I'm going to have a long talk with him about peronsal responsibility and why he shouldn't do what he's told not to.  I'm just glad that we were delayed long enough for the Versed to turn into a truth serum with him and that he fessed up before they put him under.

As for Medusa, I'm sorry to say that the sun wasn't out today, so she didn't melt into a pool of icor when she stepped outside.  Better luck next time, I guess.


bluesun said...

You must have some awesome powers since you didn't turn to stone. I suggest bringing a highly polished shield next time.

DaddyBear said...

I'll remember that when we try this again next week.

Julie said...

mm, ex-MIL issues I see :)

Sorry to hear about the waste of time, but it's good that it was discovered beforehand.

(PS loved the way this was written).

DaddyBear said...

Thanks Julie. Yes, I have some issues with the MIL. I don't think either of us would slow our cars down if we saw the other crossing the road in front of us.

cybrus said...

You should sprinkle holy water on her next time. If she truly is the devil incarnate, you just possibly saved humanity. If not, you can at least enjoy the shock and bluster!


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