Overheard during dinner

Irish Woman:  "Oh, by the way, I noticed today that Walmart had plastic rakes, shovels, and hoes."
Daddy Bear :  "Sweetheart, Walmart always has plastic ho's."

Should have named him Calvin

 This reminds me of how things have been with Junior Bear.  He's so close to "freedom" that he does just enough to keep the vein in my forehead from throbbing, and no more.  Add to that the wiseass sense of humor he got from me, and it's an interesting relationship.

Interesting new find

For my brother and sister geeks out there, here is a great new blog to follow Command Line Kung Fu.

I have had training from Hal on the blog, and he has walked the earth with the Great Old Ones.

It's good to see how those flags and tags that we talked about in Intro to Operating Systems put to good use.  I'll definitely put this one on my read-every-day list.

Suggestions for PETA

PETA, in its infinite wisdom and instinctual need for publicity, is suggesting that Puxatawny Phil, the groundhog that has his own holiday, should be replaced by a robot.  Apparently, the attention, lights, and crowds aren't good for a rodent that lives better than about 3/4 of the humans on the planet.

Since they're trying to save animals in the public spotlight, here are a few suggestions:

1. The Budweiser Clydesdales - these majestic draft horses are being used to sell a mild metabolic poison, and are known mostly from their Superbowl commercials, a game played with, shockingly, a pigskin.  These magnificent animals should be let loose to roam free in the grasslands, and the beer should be carried around in the back of Toyota Prius's (or is that Priui?).
2. The Presidential Thanksgiving Turkeys - These poor fowl are raised for food, but at the last minute, just as they are preparing for execution, they are paraded in front of cameras and given a reprieve.  Imagine the stress of being ready for death, and then being given a pardon in front of the news media.  These unfortunate poultry are then taken to California to have a grand parade, and then spend the rest of their life in confinement.  Wouldn't it be better if these wonderful cream colored birds were let loose in the wild to live their lives out in freedom?  At least until their lack of camouflage and survival instincts turned them in to coyote chow.  The President should be eating tofurkey for Thanksgiving anyhow.
3. And finally, we come to the California Cows.  These "happy" bovine are not only exploited in commercials, but are used to sell milk, a product that is ripped from their very udders twice a day!  These cows will be truly happy when they are let loose on the open prairie to mingle with bulls of their own choosing.  There should be a new advertising campaign starring the San Diego Soybeans! Mmmm, soymilk!
   

So there, you are.  Hope this is helpful to our friends at PETA.

Chevy's On Ice

or if you're watching Fox, it's "When Morons Slide".

As I mentioned before, we got some snow last night.  We got about 3/4 of an inch here at Case de Oso.

Under that snow was 1/4 of an inch of ice.

Girlie Bear got on her bus at 6:15 this morning, but as I was helping load BooBoo into Irish Woman's car, I watched Junior Bear's bus roll away.  At that exact moment, Junior Bear came out of the house. 

So he got a ride to school this morning.  It was very slow going, but traffic was still light and we made it there without taking the truck out of 2nd gear.  Guess who's being woken up by his father half an hour early tomorrow to make sure he gets out on time?

I went back to the house and was getting ready for work when Girlie Bear called me.  Her bus had gone off the road and into a ditch.   No-one was hurt, but the bus driver was asking that all parents who could to come get their kids and drive them to school.

So I got back in the truck, and drove the two miles to the narrow, icy, hilly, and curvy country road that she was on.  It took half an hour to go half a mile once I left the main road.  I retrieved Girlie Bear and we made our way back up the hill.  It only took two attempts in low gear to get to the crest and get  back on the main road.  Since traffic back towards Louisville was at a standstill due to multiple accidents, I decided to go in the opposite direction and get on the interstate.  It was a longer trip, but I thought it would be faster than waiting for traffic to clear on the direct route.

I was wrong.

Half a mile later, I was at a standstill about halfway up a hill.  The cars in front of me were stuck because they couldn't get up the incline, and I was blocked in by cars to my side and rear.

We all pretty much just sat there until the sun came out and gave enough heat to the road surface to turn the ice to slush.  While we waited, we were entertained by the people who tried to use the median as a lane and were doing car gymnastics.  Before this morning I did not realize that a Kia could do a 360 degree slide inside of two car lengths.  Who knew?

We creeped along at 5 miles an hour to the turnoff to the interstate, and then even slower as we all plodded along behind the nice old man I had so graciously let out of his subdivision.  He decided it was safe to go 3 miles an hour on the wet roads.  Let me repeat:  The roads at that point were wet, not icy.  It was the nice old man, followed by me and Girlie Bear, followed by about 50 of our closest friends.  To all of those who were behind me after I let him in front of me, I am truly sorry.

Once I got to the highway, we went along at a good clip, and I got Girlie Bear to school.  I got the call that her bus was stuck at about 7:30, and I got her to her school at 11:10.  There were so many kids late due to road conditions that the principal had decided that there would be no tardy's today.

I made my way home, and called my boss again to let him know I was going to get some breakfast and a shower and then I'd be on my way to work.  Since he's a good guy and didn't want me to waste my time driving across town, he told me to just dial in for the day.  So now I'm installing Oracle remotely.

We're supposed to start getting more snow later this week.  Hopefully it won't cause as much panic and distress as our little dusting did today.

Sounds like my day

From Dr. Grumpy:

Dr. Grumpy: "You look kind of unsteady today."

Mr. Woodstock: "Yeah, I smoked a few joints out in my car before coming up here."

Dr. Grumpy: "Why did you do that?"

Mr. Woodstock: "I was really nervous about coming in today."

Dr. Grumpy: "Why were you nervous? You've been here before."

Mr. Woodstock: "Oh, not about that. I've been drinking scotch all morning, and didn't want you to notice I was drunk when I came in. I've never been drunk to a doctor visit before, so I smoked some weed to calm down, because I didn't want you to think I'd been drinking."

I've had conversations at work remarkably like that.  Just goes to show that stupid isn't limited by profession.

If you don't like the weather

Just wait 20 minutes.

2 weeks ago, it was 18 degrees out with snow on the ground.  The surface of our pond was frozen to a depth of several inches.

Last week, it was in the high forties/low fifties.

This weekend, it was raining like a cow peeing on a flat rock, with thick fog between downpours.

Today it was snowing, and it is getting colder by the minute.

Not sure if the next wave will be locusts or frogs, but it wouldn't surprise me.  Kentucky has the most bipolar weather I've ever seen.  At least in North Dakota it got cold and stayed cold.

And so it goes

Well, I was batting .500 this week.

The Colts looked really good yesterday.  Manning really kept his head in the game after they fell behind early in the game and pulled it out and ran with it in the 2nd half.

The Vikings on the other hand, well, they lost that game more than the Saints won it.  It was very close, but it didn't have to be.  Peterson spent more time looking for the ball after he'd dropped it than he did running with it.  And Favre got pounded.  New Orleans knew they had to get to the Minnesota quarterback, and they succeeded. 

Early in the season, I questioned whether Favre would be able to go the distance, and he surprised me.  He showed a lot of talent and strength throughout the season.  I'm sad to see that what will probably be his last year ended on a heartbreaker like that.

As for the Superbowl, I'm going to go with Indianapolis.  The Colts did well yesterday against a defense that did their best to go after Manning, and their offense is as good as it's ever been.  As far as I can remember, this is the first time the two best teams in the NFL will meet in the Superbowl, as opposed to a good team kicking the snot out of a longshot that got lucky for a few games.

Picks for Conference Championships

I was 2 and 2 last week. 

Here are my picks for Conference Championships:

Indy and New York Jets - Indy
Minnesota and New Orleans - Minnesota.  Can Favre keep up the tempo?

Everything's Better With Bacon

Including pastries.

That's a donut, with maple icing, with a strip of bacon.  I didn't partake, but I was advised that it was quite tasty.

Mmmmm bacon.  Is there nothing it can't improve?

Infidelity in the News

Noted sleazeball and former presidential hopeful John Edwards finally confirmed what everyone pretty much knew today when he announced that he was the baby daddy.  File this one under "No Kidding".  Let's see, you were porking your videographer while running for president and your wife was sick with terminal cancer.  Then, when said strumpet gave birth to a child that looks remarkably like you, you admitted the affair but denied the child.  Instead you had a friend take the fall and say he was the father.  Even if you weren't a personal injury lawyer, this would get you that scholarship to Hell you've been hoping for.

Tiger Woods is apparently at a center in Mississippi for rehab for an addiction to sex.  Funny, I thought sex was one of those things that everyone craved.  Kinda why we continue to have kids.  How can you be addicted to something that is part of your survival instinct.  But maybe Tiger is being taught how not to have sex with women other than his wife.  Wonder how that works.  Do you sit in a room and talk about how you shouldn't bone other women?  Maybe, but I envision Mr. Woods strapped to a chair while a large man with a vaguely Eastern European accent kicks him in the crotch while screaming "Don't bone other women! Don't bone other women!".  Kind of a negative reinforcement kind of thing.

I just don't see how this is an addiction thing.  I think it's more of an "I'm rich and famous, and no-one has the right to expect me to act like a real human being, so I think I'll sleep my way through the national ho directory" kind of thing.

Quote of the Day

From Frank J. over at IMAO:

It’s almost impossible to comprehend. The most liberal state in the union just elected a Republican to Ted Kennedy’s seat? It’s like Massachusetts just abandoned Ted Kennedy in a car at the bottom of a river.

Losing my widebody status

Went to the doctor the other day for my regular arthritis treatment.  Since the amount of medicine they give me is calculated based on my weight, they weigh me every time.  Last year, I had a spike in my weight, and all of my health care professionals were clucking at me over it.  And I wasn't skinny prior to that.  So I was quite large, the heaviest I've ever been.

Since last fall, I've cut a bit of the junk out of my diet, mostly by not eating out as much. 

In November, I was 15 pounds down from my peak weight.  My doctors were happy about that, but cautioned me to expect to gain some of that back over the holidays. I missed my December treatment for a variety of reasons, so this was my first weigh in since November.  Imagine my surprise when I was down another 5 pounds.

I'm 20 pounds down from my peak weight!  I may actually start doing something to bring it down, like getting off of my butt and exercising. 

Congratulations!

Doc Russia over at Bloodletting has passed his boards exam.  I've been reading his blog for quite a while, and it's good to see someone who's willing to work hard to attain his goals get ahead.

Go, give some love!

My son, the shaggy dog

Last night, as Junior Bear and I sat through briefings on the process of getting into his chosen university, I noticed that he is beginning to look like something out of the early '90's grunge movement.  Scraggly hair, chin beard, tee shirt worn under an old button down shirt, unbuttoned of course.

I mentioned to him that he needed to shave and get a haircut.  I was informed that he was saving his money for something else and he might get to it in a month or so.  I considered doing it for him in the parking lot with my pocketknife, but after counting to 10 in about 3 different languages, I started seeing in color again and let it go.

When I saw this tonight, I thought it fit my reaction last night:

Thanks much to Chad Carpenter at Tundra for all the great laughs.