Thursday, January 13, 2011

I Triple Dog Dare You!

If putting crosshairs over states on a poster promotes political violence, then this story can be used to accuse Ted Turner of promoting harm to children with his "24 Hours of Christmas Story".

Firefighters poured water over his tongue to help free the boy. Apparently, the boy had risen to the challenge from his older brother while they were waiting for the school bus.
OK, Sherman, set the wayback machine to North Hill Elementary in Minot North Dakota, any school day in January, 1978.  At any given moment during recess, there was a kid with a tongue stuck to the metal piping that made up the swingset, the monkey bars, or the merry-go-round.  Minot got  brass monkey cold that winter, and we pretty much used the opportunity to prove we were tougher than the other members of our Lord of the Flies society.  Such challenges as walking barefoot across the playground, giving your coat to the fastest kid in class and chasing him to get it back, or sticking your tongue to exposed metal were common.  Of course, touching a wet tongue to bare metal in -20F weather instantly seals the mouth to the monkey bars.  Normal children would take off their mittens and use their fingers to slowly melt/pry their tongues loose.  Of course, real men, also known as dumbasses, would just tear their head loose.  Yeah, you'd bleed like a stuck pig, but for the rest of recess, you'd be The Man.

Needless to say, a DNA sample of the tissue frozen to these metal bars would show that a young Norwegian kid who would grow up to be DaddyBear was The Man more often than most.  Additionally, I walked barefoot through the snow often enough that whenever it gets well and truly cold my feet instantly go numb.  I never said I was smart. 

Remember of course, that Christmas Story didn't come out until 1983.  Children, especially boys, will do stupid crap no matter what.  It's part of growing up.  I'm sure that in Kenya there are groups of boys right now playing "Rochambeau the Lion".  Kids in India must have something close to "Smack the Cobra".   Those who survive make the species stronger.


K. Erickson said...

That which does not kill you makes you stronger says the 12 year old boy stuck in a man's body whose done more than his fair share of stupid crap and lived to tell about it.

Joshkie said...

I beleive it was the late George Carlin in one of his skits and I'm parphrasing here said acording to the safty experts every one over 35years of age should be dead. and he said that like 20years ago.


Old NFO said...

LOL- Ain't it the truth DB, and we STILL survived... :-)

Julie said...

those that survive - make the species stronger ... v.true, but does not now bode well for future generations ...

DaddyBear said...

Not if you're hoping that evolution will make us smarter, Julie.

Brady said...

Well, buddy. Gotta say that most people from the frozen acres have done this or seen someone try it and been scared stupid. I did it, but was 'smart' enough to only touch a tiny part of my tongue to something. I just tore the bastard off without a second thought. Felt funny for a few days, but hey, I never did it again.

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