Saturday, May 8, 2010

Shoutouts

Haven't done these in a while.  It's a good way to blow off steam.

To the 19 year old wearing the "Class of 2009" tee shirt who was pissed that I was in 'her' parking spot in front of Starbucks this morning, I'm sorry you had to walk around my "nasty old truck" as you so succinctly put it to whoever you were annoying at 7:30 AM on your cell phone.  As for Mummsy and Daddsy's BMW that you were driving, either learn to park wiithout taking up two spaces, or learn to walk, you self absorbed neauveau riche white trash drama queen.

To the marketing guy who thought to let Starbucks customers make a Frapuccino out of everything including the Barista's tears, you are a business genius.  But if I ever find you, I'm going to gut you like a trout using a dull spork and hang your carcass to age in front of Kroger as a warning to other twits who might do something that will cause me to have to wait in a line 17 deep for coffee.  This line was populated by 15 young people like the young lady above, and two adults who just wanted a cup of hot bean juice.

To the Kentucky Revenue Cabinet, mad props for sending us our refund check in less than a month.  When I saw the envelope, I was half expecting a "well, we done spent all the money on bourbon and strippers, so here's some coupons for a free Squishy at the gas station instead".

To Mayor of New York Michael Bloomberg, who thinks that citizens should be denied their civil rights because some bureaucrat put them on a list, I hope they find your bloated carcass tied up in a bondage leather bar in Greenwich Village.

That's about all I've got for now.  Just needed to vent my spleen a bit.  We'll return to our normal ray-of-sunshine posting soon.

3 comments:

James A. Zachary Jr. said...

"I'm going to gut you like a trout using a dull spork and hang your carcass to age in front of Kroger..."

Hee hee hee! Excellent!

Shannon said...

This was the exact thing I needed to get my Monday morning off to a good start! Love it all!!

Jay G said...

[claps]

Bravo, DB, bravo.

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