A note to a coworker

Dear Lady on the Sidewalk,

This morning, I was about 10 meters behind you on the walk into the office.  Even with a slight breeze to my back and a stuffed up nose, I could distinctly make out the perfume you were wearing.

I realize that after a few seconds you can't smell your own body scents, and this can make it hard to know when you've used too much, but please try to better regulate the amount you use. 

Here are some guidelines:

If after dousing your carcass, you can tell a difference in the amount of perfume left in the bottle from before you marinated yourself in it, you might be using a tad too much.

If your family pet won't come to you because it's too busy snuffling up water from its dish to get the pain out of its nose, then maybe you should cut back.

If birds drop dead as you pass under trees, then maybe you need a perfume sponsor to help you put on the appropriate amount.

Thanks much for your consideration,

DB