Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Too fat to die

So, this pig-eyed sack of crap says that since he's so fat doctors have trouble getting a vein in his arm, and he's on medication for seizures, lethal injection would be cruel and unusual punishment.

I have a fix:
  1. Hand this waste of protein a shovel and put him to work digging his own grave. Have him guarded by the meanest set of guards known to man armed with tasers and shotguns. Give them a couple of guard dogs just for the newspaper pictures too. Bonus points if they all have buzz-cuts, wear Smokey-the-Bear hats and mirrored sunglasses.
  2. Feed him on bread and water with one vitamin pill a day. Can't let his nutrition suffer. He gets all the hardtack and well water he can eat and drink.
  3. Work him from sun-up to sun-down, with one meal break during the day. Work him 6 days a week. Let him have Sunday to sit and think about what he's done and try to make amends with his Maker. No exceptions for illness, holidays, or weather.
  4. When the grave is dug, make him fill it in, move 6 feet to the right, and start digging again.
  5. Every Saturday evening, have a doctor examine him and assess the state of his weight and the viability of his veins.
  6. Once he's lost enough weight to make it easy to find a vein, give him triple the dose of the chemical that his medication supposedly interferes with and execute the bastard.

Let me be clear, I don't support the death penalty for most crimes. I have problems with how the sentence is arrived at in our court system. I don't believe that it's given out in a fair fashion, and that too many people who have had the death penalty sentence have been exonerated for me to support an irrevocable punishment.

However, don't go to jail, gain a truckload of weight, and then try to weasel your way out due to the size of your ass.

No slack for murdering rapists with a 10 twinkie a day habit.

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