Monday, January 31, 2011

A Word of Advice

Mark Kelly, husband of Representative Gabrielle Giffords, is having to make a hard decision.  He's been up in the shuttle before, but has been slated to command the shuttle when it flies later this spring. On the other hand, his wife is recovering from a gunshot wound to the head, so she really needs him.  I'm sure he's agonizing over whether to make history or stay home to support his wife. 

Here's my take on it:

Dude, don't even consider the shuttle option. Here's what commanding the shuttle will give you:

  • A nifty patch
  • A place in the history books
  • Another notch in your badass astronaut coup stick
Here's what you will gain by staying with your wife:
  • Hopefully, her appreciation of you giving up the opportunity of a lifetime to take care of her.
  • The continued possession of half your things and full time access to your children.
  • A reputation of being a stand up guy who puts the needs of his family above his own ambitions.
  • You negate the understood risk of strapping yourself to the top of a rocket and spacecraft design that's been known to catastrophically fail at a time when your wife desperately needs you in her life.
Here's what taking the shuttle mission could cause:
  • Years of "well since I need you to do something for me, I assume you have a space mission that night" remarks
  • Half of the ballooned debt that she runs up in spite
  • Years of seeing your kids part time.
  • Years of paying child support full time
  • Moving into a condo while watching your wife put your house up for sale.
  • Watching half of your worldly possessions disappear overnight
I'm not saying that a wife would divorce her husband because he chose a space shuttle mission over caring for her during a time such as this, but I'm one percent certain that it would be brought up during the inevitable spats every couple has.  And heaven forbid they ever divorce, it's sure to be mentioned at least once or twice.

Dude, tell NASA thanks, but you need to stay home to care for your wife.  You've already been an astronaut, you're already proven to be braver than the average bear, you'll get accolades for being a caring husband, and the likelihood that you'll keep half your stuff and your kids will be improved.

No, I'm not bitter, why do you ask?

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