Monday, January 5, 2009

Captain Success and his trusty side kick, Dumbass

So, police in New York have arrested a father and son for stealing granite tombstones.

Everyone, including me, is puzzled as to the motivation for stealing something like a tombstone. But with a little imagination, maybe we can get to the bottom of this.

Top 5 excuses for stealing tombstones:

5. Trying to save money on materials for the new countertops that Ma wants in the kitchen.
4. Putting in a new sidewalk, and ran out of pavers.
3. Reinforcing their zombie-proof shelter with something the zombies will recognize.
2. Needed to weight down the back of their truck for the winter so they wouldn't spin out and go into the ditch
1. Trying to get to hell on a scholarship.

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